Log kya Kahen Gay – What people will say
By Sundeela Fayyaz
“Today I am really excited as I have got the best result in F.Sc, It’s really a proud moment for the entire family but as soon as I told my family, that I want to take a degree in the music industry, all the happiness was gone and my mother said, ”you have scored such good marks that you will easily get admission in the top most universities of the country and you want to become a singer!!have you thought LOG KYA KHAINGAY”. This is just one example of this most commonly used phrase in our society, there are innumerable situations where we are stopped from doing what our heart desires and which will ultimately give us happiness and satisfaction just because we are worried about What will people/society say?
Human beings have the tendency to comment on others behavior,their lifestyle,their choices,their dressing style ,infact it is the habit of most of the people to poke their nose in each and every affair of others life.Although they have nothing to do with them but may be for time pass or to humiliate others or for sheer pleasure of gossip they talk about the life of others,they talk,speculate and then move on to the next target. In our Society especially in the Asian countries,the elders always advice the younger ones to do things in limitations keeping in mind about what others would think if you do something wrong, this is so deep instilled in children that they grow up believing it and live their live accordingly and it turns into a cycle and as a result generations after generations make it a point in their lifeof what others may think about their actions,which has hindered the expectations and passions of many individuals and this is spread among all the classes of the society.This line (log kyakhaingay)has created many scenarios that have lead people to take wrong paths.
Many of us follow what others expect of us because we like approval and want to avoid ridicule, there are many reasons that many people in our society follows this line, sometimes the person listens to what people are saying just out of respect, in some there is a lack of decision making,some people have low self confidence and some suffers from inferiority complex. Some people have described this line as a log kyakhaingaysyndrome , this syndrome afflicts people of all ages but women are the most important part of it. This syndrome is an imaginary thought or fear in our mind that we make by having some type of behavior, choices or opinions which is unacceptable by society. What people will say, has seeped so much into our mindset that we unconsciously do only the things that society wants or expects us to do but there is always a way out for something,one should understand and learn as how to tackle with such log kyakhaingay situations and there is a need of teaching other people especially the parents about giving a deaf ear to such things and there are certain reasons you don’t need to care about log kyakhaingay,we all have read a Chinese proverb that”Your fingers can’t be of the same length”, which means we are born with different identities and opinions,we can’t follow the heard just because the society or so called people wants us to. Judging people for going off the trodden path,shows that the people are jealous of your doings nothing else,the most important thing is you can’t make everyone happy all the time so stop being sad and don’t waste time on such lame and foolish opinions of others about you because the people who have an opinion about you won’t care if you prove them wrong,therefore do without caring about what other people think otherwise ask those people to pay your bills if they are being so sincere with you.
The biggest irony is that we give importance to anybody’s opinion,it is no body but it’s only I who allows and give the power to others or the society to overpower, to govern,discuss and give opinions about my life,actions and opinions.Don’t we have our sense of right or wrong that we have to look for society’s or people’s approval each time?Why can’t we listen to our inner voice and do whatever we really want to do! It takes a lot of courage to defy society and live the kind of live you want,but it’s high time we stop being a puppet in the hands of people or society and learn to live our lives the way we want. If we think about what people will think of us than let them do their worthless work and do whatever you want to do.People always talk about something,there is no need to change your thinking and doings according to the opinion of others so don’t let anyone ruin your way of thinking. Don’t give importance to someone’s thoughts so they can create hurdles in your life. Don’t let anyone rule over your passions.Altough,it is not a discouraging factor to listen to somebody’s advice as long as you have the awareness and emotional intelligence to process what they are saying to you, in a way that serves your best interest. Everyone has different values, priorities, cultural backgrounds,educational levels and personalities which effect how they think, how they take decisions. If you are listening to others you have to be selective and choose only those individuals whose opinions you respect because they are wise, experienced, balanced and mature. Those people may include your teachers, mentors, coaches, inspirational figures and your immediate family, still remember one thing that you yourself is your best counsel because nobody knows you the best than you know yourself. The key is to make time for self-reflection and to engage in a continual process of self- discovery and learning. When you are armed with a strong sense of who you are and what you stand for, it will be easy to know who to listen to and who to ignore because your life is what you had chosen it to be, so even if you make mistakes it will be your own mistake not what others make you do that. It’s your life your ways, you can make it by listening to your heart not by spoiling it by the interference of other people’s opinions.
From our Print Edition
